the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
