As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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