he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
