Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
