Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
