some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
