On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
