THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
