I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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