I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
