bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
