I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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