I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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