butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
