Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
