It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
