And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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