dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
