my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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