Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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