I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
only you would photoshop your dick
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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