her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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