Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
