well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
