I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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