toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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