if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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