That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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