He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
