We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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