omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
