Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have already put on my inside pants.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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