If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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