I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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