At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
