he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
