Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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