I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
