Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
