just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
