fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
