We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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