If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
