My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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