Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
