I wanna passion pit in your ass
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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