he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
