Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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