I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
