She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
