Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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