The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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