Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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