I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
