I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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