i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
