Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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