I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
