im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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